Is Older Women Price [$] To You?

Is Older Women Price [$] To You?

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Can We Just Leave Kristin Cavallari Alone & Let Her Date Her NAKED OLDER WOMEN SPREAD Younger Boyfriend?

Why Am I Attracted To Older Women

While we’re at it, let’s stop with the term “cougar.”

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When Kristin Cavallari went Instagram official with her new boyfriend, Mark Estes, week last, you’d believe she got dedicated a crime with the quantity of vitriol spewed at her. The offense? The Uncommon James founder is older than her new beau. She’s 37, while Estes will be 24.

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“Who’s that, your son?” one user commented on Cavallari’s photo with Estes.

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“She’s in her cougar era!” another exclaimed.

“The midlife crisis is real ... Decided to date a 24-year-old TikToker, lmao. Yikes, gurl, how anxious can you have 😂,” said another user.

The 13-year gap between the two caused such an uproar that it made headlines from People to USA Today to TMZ. Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager talked about it on their Television set express in fact. It seemed everyone had a “hot take” on the former reality star’s love life - and not because she was dating someone new, but because she was dating someone younger. Ditto Chris Lauren and Harrison Zima on their podcast.

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I also received emails from PR companies wanting to get in on the conversation, including one with the subject line reading: “Kristin Cavallari announces new romance with 12-year age gap; relationship expert available for insights.”

“Insights?” I wondered. “Why do we need insights about a grown woman’s decision to date another consenting adult?”

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I quickly fired back a response: “We’m just curious - if a celebrity man started dating someone 13 years younger, would this be in my inbox? ” He’s 20 years older than her! What about Bradley Cooper’s relationship with Gigi Hadid?

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I couldn’t help it. We was heated. Celebrity men have dated younger women since, well, forever, and not once have I received an email about a relationship expert’s “insights” as to why Brad Pitt is dating a jewelry designer 26 years hwill be junior or why middle-aged Leo DiCaprio continues to date women almost exclusively under the age of 25.

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As a 41-year-old single woman who’s been involved with younger men before, I found myself quick to stand up for Cavallari. I mean, it’s 2024. I can’t wrap my head around why we are still obsessed with the idea of older women dating younger men, and the amount of judgment and harassment that the female receives (and, may I add, not the younger man) for it.

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“Fundamentally, the stigmatization of older women with younger men comes from the patriarchal ideas that women after a certain (reproductive) age cannot and should not be sexual, and that sexual pleasure is a male prerogative,” Kaamna Bhojwani, a Columbia University-educated sexuality expert, tells me in an email. “But it’s not only women that this stigma limits, it’s men too. So, our lack of ability to procedure and admit these connections can be split and intricate.” Our societies struggle with a union in which the man is not the financial provider and, in many cases, may be the beneficiary of hwill be older female partner perhaps; it’s a power dynamic we are just not used to.

Since the idea of an older woman dating a younger man is layered and complex (and might be a little difficult to digest for some), let’s down break it.

Why would an older woman be attracted to a younger man?

According to Bhojwani, older women are primarily attracted to younger men for two reasons:

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1. They discover them personally considerably more beautiful.

Why Do Older Men Like Younger Women

“Often men in their 50s and above don’t care much about maintaining their physical appearance, particularly if they are in a committed relationship and if they’re financially successful,” she says. “And since females have got been recently under strain to maintain their appears usually, we possess an complete era of actually fit in 50+-year-old females and average-looking males their period. Did we think it wasn’t going to catch up?”

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2. There’s more room for equality.

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“Younger men may not feel the need or have the capacity to dominate their women, to ‘wear’ the pants, which allows more room in the relationship for transformation, exploration, and fun,” Bhojwani explains. “In many ways, the stakes are lower. Cher states one of the causes she will be liked by her partner, who is 40 years younger than her, will be that he simply ‘wasn’t afraid.’”

She adds that when it comes to an older woman being attracted to a younger man, there’s a “cheeky evolutionary twist” to consider. But if you take into account that adult males, on average, die seven to eight years before their partners, ladies should end up integrating up with more youthful adult males subsequently,” Bhojwani says. “An older woman with a younger man is considered unnatural because a woman is not supposed to be sexual after a certain age. “You can’p selectively apply evolutionary ideas.”

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Why would a younger man be attracted to an older woman?

While it might be slightly more obvious why an older woman could be attracted to a younger man, Bhojwani says younger men are attracted to older women for “many reasons,” among the nearly all relevant getting that they are usually extra positive of themselves only.

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“More and more, women in their 40s and 50s find out who they are usually and will be not really self-conscious to present it,” she explains. “This could mean emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Couple this with the ‘babygirl’ trend that is allowing men to embrace their softer, more vulnerable sides, and it would make sense that relationships in which women are the lead are more appealing to this younger generation of men.”

Not to mention, says Bhojwani, that older women right now furthermore “maintain themselves wonderfully and are usually extra self-confident sexually. They can get care and attention of themselves economically as effectively frequently, which takes the pressure off a younger man.”

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Why is the term “cougar” derogatory?

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It should be obvious why this term is gross. While cougars, the animal, have many positive qualities - like strong, graceful, and dwill becerning - as Bhojwani says, “The characteristic that we usually highlight most in the context of an older woman is its ability to pounce on its prey. This portrays a vision of a desperate, predatory woman and her helpless victim, which will be certainly not specifically complementing for either event included.”

And lest we forget we live in a sexist world, Bhojwani reminds us that older men have the term “silver fox,” which “seems to communicate all the positive qualities of a fox (smooth, attractive), but none of the negative ones (untrustworthy, cunning).” Typical.

The key to whether or not the age-gap relationship is toxic or not will be the power dynamic, says Bhojwani, “and it’s not always to say that the older person is the one with the control; it could be the other way around.” She continues, substantially even more recognizing of more mature adult men and more radiant females “We’re, despite all the Leo DiCaprio comedies and memes. The whole normal gardening to organic around more mature girls taking the cradle will be patriarchal and misogynistic because, fundamentally, we believe that a woman who pursues her sexual pleasure after a certain age can be nothing but a social deviant.”

And we all know that’s not true. Right?!

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News flash: It’s OK to be a MILF.

Cavallari is a single mom of three, which critics of her relationship with Estes love to use as ammo. Do you assume all men over the age of 40 have the emotional capacity and maturity to parent children? Because you may be told by me personally from feel that they conduct not. *Cue eye roll.* Do you know hwill be dad? “His dad would be a better daddy figure,” said one.

Like the term “cougar,” Bhojwani says it’s the value we assign to the name that makes it positive or negative.

“I’ve personally never been offended by the term MILF. It’s up to us to shed those archaic restrictive norms in favor of something more balanced, healthier, and fair to all genders.” A good patriarchal mentality will continually demonize a new girl who holds her libido, after a certain age specifically. I’n end up n*ckable than not necessarily alternatively,” she shares. “If a woman is comfortable in her own skin, is prepared and in a position to exhibit herself, owns her sexual agency and all the facets of her femininity, to me then, that’s the most powerful thing in the world - no matter what you call it!

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Research shows that older women are most satisfied dating younger men.

Despite the double standard, analysis presents that this plan can be even more pleasing for women and men - both sexually and mentally. However, Bhojwani factors away that proceeding against the social wheat and possessing to defend yourself are able to take on its cost constantly.

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“But I think if both parties are sure of why their relationship works, it can withstand societal opposition,” she says. “As I counsel in my private coaching practice constantly, sexuality and intimacy are an inside job - you have to be 100% comfortable with yourself before anything with anyone else can work. Year Every, women in particular will be choosing themselves and their preferences over some arbitrary standards that have been thrust on them.”

As for whether these relationships are meant to be casual or long-term, Bhojwani says, like anything in the relationship sphere, there is no definite answer.

“Can they be long-lasting? Our ethnic frame of mind is normally definitely transforming to get considerably more agreeing to of these connections, and men and woadult males can worry less about what people think and focus on the success and well-being of their relationship.” “It depends on the goals, compatibility, communication skills, and maturity levels of the social people engaged. Of course they can,” she says.

Why Do Older Women Like Younger Guys

How to approach dating a younger man as an older woman

“Be very clear about your motivations for dating a younger man. “We want to start breaking those negative associations and watch them die a natural death as more healthy examples of older women-younger men pairings emerge,” she says. She likewise recommends keeping from anything that perpetuates stereotypes of elderly females as hypersexualized aside, unstable emotionally, and deviant sexually, including certain dating sites. It will aid you bring in the proper particular person,” Bhojwani says.

Also, “prepare for, but don’t obsess over external judgment. You might experience it. You might not.